I seem to have left my pride at pride
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
