Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
