i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
