Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
