return my video game
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize