Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
