You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
