clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
