you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
love makes seman taste better
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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