I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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