i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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