Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
