I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
