Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
im six kinds of drunk right now
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
