Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
