Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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