glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize