I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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