One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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