i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
