He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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