how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
