idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
