so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
