i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
