If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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