Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
