My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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