We named our party play list daddy issues
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
