I could have mohawked her pubes.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize