I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
