I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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