why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
