i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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