you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
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