K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
