Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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