Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
