the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
