I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
