I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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