im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
