doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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