This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
that's an acceptable place to lick
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
