I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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