I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
