It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
