Please, let me fuck your mom
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
