only you would photoshop your dick
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
