let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
high people should be assigned attendants
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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