my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
