Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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