Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Everyone says I win the strip club
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
