Where are you?
In a non slutty way
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
