He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
