Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize