i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Randomize
