So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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