But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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