Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
