Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
