He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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