He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
