If that was your dad, he is hot
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
