im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I need a beard to bite.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
