oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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