chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
