is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
