Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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