What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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